Dungeons & Dragons TV Series

A group of kids were at an amusement park when they spotted a roller coaster named Dungeons & Dragons.  They climbed into the cart and were soon rolling among fantastical beasts.  Then something went wrong.  They were flung into another world and chased by a multi-headed dragon, none other than Tiamat!  Luckily, a diminutive figure appeared and provided each of them with a powerful magical item to aid their escape.  They also met Venger, the essence of evil in this land and their ongoing nemesis.  Can the kids find a way back to earth or are they doomed to live out their lives in this fantasy world?

Hank the Ranger.  Armed with a magical bow, Hank was the leader of the group.  As this is a kids' show, the energy arrows from his bow were generally harmless, merely knocking out enemies rather than killing them.  He could also create a fireworks display.

Eric the Cavalier.  Armed with a magic shield, Eric was the complainer.  He was a rich kid who was always the voice of opposition.  Whatever the plan, he didn't like it and let everyone know.  Despite being a cavalier, he did not have a horse.  Or a lance.  Or a sword.  However, his shield could reflect spells back at the caster, which was his most effective attack.

Presto the Magician.  Provided a conical wizard's hat from which he could pull random spells, Presto was mostly hapless.  His spells were just as often comically inept as useful.  Nonetheless, the party always looked to him to bail them out of the latest crisis.

Sheila the Thief.  Provided a cloak of invisibility, Sheila was the older sister of Bobby.  She was always worried about her reckless brother, always warning him against rushing into danger.  Her mode of attack was to lure someone into charging her and then go invisible; inevitably, the attacker would collide with someone else or a wall.

Diana the Acrobat.  Provided a staff, Diana was actually a monk though that was changed to acrobat for the show.  Yeah, it is pretty obvious she is supposed to be a monk too, though her outfit is peculiar.  Dressed in a bearskin bikini with Wonder Woman accoutrements, she jumps, runs, and uses her staff to pole vault.

Bobby the Barbarian.  Armed with a magic club, Bobby was always eager to run up and engage in battle with the latest monster.  His club was wielded against the environment, causing earthquakes that knocked down opponents or toppling trees that fell on enemies.  Again, this is a kids' show.  Where the rest of the kids are teens, Bobby is 9.

Uni the Unicorn.  The kids have hardly arrived in the world when a unicorn joined them, having fled from Tiamat.  It immediately bonds with Bobby and becomes a source of bleating.  However, like Lassie, Uni is often sent to go get help.

The allies and monsters changed from episode to episode, but some were regulars.

Venger.  A bat winged and horned villain, he often arrived riding a nightmare and blasted away at the heroes with unidentifiable spells.  His goal is to acquire the magic items that the kids possess and thus become all powerful.  He frequently polymorphs into different forms, convincing the kids that he is an ally before revealing himself.  Of particular note is that Peter Cullen - none other than Optimus Prime of Transformers fame - voiced Venger.

Tiamat.  Somehow, the chromatic dragon is a regular for this low-level party.  Despite the fact that both Venger and Tiamat are evil, they are enemies who will attack one another instantly, which always provides an opportunity for the kids to escape.

Dungeon Master.  A diminutive bald fellow with a fringe of long white hair and a red robe, he provides cryptic clues as to what they need to do.  He typically appears early in the episode to explain the basic plot and at the end to congratulate them on their success.  He always vanishes before Eric can ask additional questions.

Back in the day, I had only watched a few episodes before abandoning the show.  It was too much the kids show.  Watching it today, it is fun and provides some background for the AI reboot.

Dungeons & Dragons: Hank

A group of teens stand at a grave under a tree.  One leaves a red garment near the headstone.  "What now, Hank?" one asks the ranger.  He does not answer.  Instead, they five leave.  Time passes.  The grave is covered with snow.  The grave is overgrown with brush.  A much older Hank leaves his cabin in the woods and goes hunting.  Something on a nearby mountain catches his interest.  He climbs it, noting a mountain goat on his way up.  He finds clear signs of a summoning circle.  The goat, which is an avatar of Presto the Magician, explains that something terrible has been summoned.  Sure enough, a beast climbs out of the lava of a nearby volcano and battle commence.

Meanwhile, two teens are wondering around an abandoned amusement park.  It closed 30-years ago because some kids disappeared.  They discover that an old rollercoaster still works.  Despite warnings not to do it, Gary jumps in and rides it.  He finds himself in another world, within a D&D campaign world.  He is rescued from an owlbear by the arrival of Hank.  "Come with me if you want to live!"  Nice.

This promises to be the first of a 10-episode series that will carry on the 1980s cartoon series, perhaps to a final return home.  The 20-minute short was generated with AI, but proves to be quite good nonetheless.  It is a much more serious take on the material than the original cartoon.  One expects that future episodes will cover Eric the Cavalier, Diana the Acrobat, Shiela the Thief, and Bobby the Barbarian, most of whom were gathered at the grave at the beginning of the episode.

There is a trailer that opens with an extended exploration of the amusement park by Gary and his girlfriend before jumping into previews of future episodes which show the other classic characters fighting a variety of D&D monsters.

Highly recommended.

Fires of Azeroth

Morgaine and Vanye had escaped through the Well of Shiuan, but Roh followed and brought an army with him.  In this world, there are a people who are more akin to Morgaine and live in the forests of Azeroth.  Though not as knowledgeable of the gate technology as her, they do make use of it and have trinkets that have seemingly magical powers.  Once again, Morgaine and Vanye are separated and Vanye, as usual, finds himself at the mercy of an enemy.  Sigh.  However, it turns out that the enemy may have inhabited Roh's body, but Roh himself is still in there too.  There is a clash within him, one seeking to protect his cousin and another seeking to defeat Morgaine once and for all.  Can Morgaine and Vanye close the gate to this world or will they be forever trapped?  Will they even survive the army that Roh assembled?

The conclusion of the trilogy, Vanye is still mostly a pawn.  Throughout the series, he has been the focal character, leaving Morgaine as an inscrutable figure who often seems little concerned with Vanye's welfare.  She is quite aloof and entirely willing to sacrifice Vanye in service to her quest.  Or does it just seem that way from his perspective?  Is he misreading her?

Though the trilogy resolves the fight that left Morgaine as the sole survivor of her party in the first book, it ends with untold gates yet to close.  Future books could be merely episodic, detailing the latest world and Morgaine's means of closing it.

A very different fantasy series.  Recommended.

Well of Shiuan

The broken moons streak across the sky and cause crazy tides that are drowning the lands.  Jherun is a peasant woman who sometimes raids old tombs for money.  After one such, she was chased by a strange man.  It was Roh, a fugitive through the Gate of Ivrel.  He queried of Morgaine and his cousin, Vanye.  Jherun did not know or see them.  However, when Roh left, Jherun followed.  She hoped to avoid marriage to Fwar.  Instead of Roh, she stumbled upon Morgaine and Vanye!  They wanted to know about the gates, here called "wells."  Jherun guided them to the Well of Shiuan.

At the end of Gate of Ivrel, Roh's body was taken over by the very enemy who had wiped out Morgaine's companions a century before.  It was yet another feature of the gates to inhabit new bodies and thus extend one's age.  Now Roh was determined to get to Shiuan and close it behind him, thus trapping Morgaine on this dying world.

This world is beset by constant rain and floods, making it quite bleak and all the folk hope to somehow escape the impending doom.  By promises of travel to new worlds through the Well of Shiuan, both Roh and Morgaine recruit armies to secure the well from the other.  Also, some of the clans were the same as from the last book, showing that the ancient race had planted people on different worlds.

Vanye is once again conflicted, never quite sure what to do.  He is a hard character to like and too often feels like a victim of circumstance who rarely overcomes his troubles himself.

Entertaining and interesting.

Gate of Ivrel

Our story opens with the information dump to end all information dumps.  There was a race that became so advanced that they created a interstellar gate system.  Not only did it allow transportation to any planet in the galaxy - provided there was a gate, it also allowed for time travel.  These ancient folk would tinker with the people on these planets, perhaps having been deposited there by them.  Indeed, the universe seems very human through the books.  They would change something and then jump forward in time a hundred years or so to see how that impacted the culture.  Of course, they never traveled back in time, as that was clearly a path to ruin.  However, eventually, they got close to the end of the galaxy and the only choice was to travel back and ruin befell.  Now, onto the next info dump!

A mixed race of people, who were a fusion of the ancient race and humans, built a new civilization among the ruins but the gates were a danger.  A team was assembled who would spend eternity shuttering the gates so that the disaster would not repeat.  Morgaine was just one of these.  While trying to close the Gate of Ivrel, the team was wiped out with the exception of Morgaine.  She fled through another gate that jumped her a century forward on the timeline.  To her, it has only been a minute.  To everyone else, she was some mythic figure from a long ago battle.

Now, our story begins.  Vanye was the son of a noble of one clan, but his mother had been a captive taken from a rival clan.  As such, he was viewed as a lesser son, a half-breed.  When he killed one of his half-brothers and maimed another, he was banished.  This was essentially a death sentence.  As luck would have it, he encountered Morgaine as she emerged from the gate.  By custom, he became her indentured servant.  The pair then set about closing the gate.  The same man who had wiped out Morgaine's compatriots a century before was still in control.  Could she overcome him this time?

The setting is truly outstanding and well-realized.  Here is a variation on Stargate long before Stargate ever aired.  Not only are the workings of this gate system gamed out in the opening chapter, the worlds that result have a mix of tribal people that repeat, showing how the ancient civilization mixed and matched to experiment.  Vanye's mixed heritage plays heavily in the first book, as he and Morgaine are able to recruit assistance from his mother's clan.  In fact, his cousin, Chya Roh, proves to be a recurring character in the first three books.  Though the founding race was clearly high tech, this world is Medieval.  Battles are fought with swords, spears, and bows.

Though armed with a dimension-ripping sword called Changeling, Morgaine is not some great warrior.  In fact, she is more of a planner and manipulator.  Her talents lie in recruiting aid to the cause, not in combat.  She is also one of the few who understands the workings of the gates.  By contrast, Vanye is a fighter, but he comes across as wishy washy.  Always his honor prevents him from doing this or doing that.  He has a lot of crises of conscience.

Back to Changeling, the sword creates a portable gate extending from its tip when drawn.  Enemies can be swept away to who knows where?  It is very effective but extremely dangerous.  How does one sheath such a weapon?  Not only can it sweep away enemies, it can function as an impenetrable shield as arrows and such will vanish into the void.

Highly entertaining and recommended.

The Ash Lad: In Search of the Golden Castle (2019)

Thanks to having rescued Princess Kristin (Eili Harboe) from the troll king, Espen (Vebjorn Enger) and his family are invited to a celebration at the royal mansion.  However, because they are common folk, Espen's brothers, Per & Pal, are mistaken for servants.  Given a tray with drinks, they are dispatched to King Erik, Queen Victoria, and the princess.  No sooner has the king and queen tasted the drinks than they fall into comas.  Assassins!  Per and Pal are imprisoned and sentenced to death.  Can Espen save the day again?

There is a legend that tells of a curative elixir that can be found at the Golden Castle.  However, the story further states that only one person has ever escaped the castle to tell the tale.  Epsen and Princess Kristin set out to find that mysterious survivor and learn where to find the golden castle and recover the healing potion.  Furthermore, they have only a couple of days in which to do it!  Worse still, the true villain behind the poisoning has sent his minions, led by Oholmann (Sidse Babett Knudsen) to stop them.  The long-nosed hag once again provides help and Espen recovers random bits and bobs along the way that prove helpful.  His long-striding boots were quite humorous.

Not quite as good as the previous entry, it did have one stand out bit.  When Espen challenged the Fossegrim (Tomas Lesmarquis) to a fiddle-playing duel, his unexpected victory was quite funny.

This is campy fun, a light-hearted fantasy epic that plays the brothers' imprisonment and forthcoming execution for laughs.  Good popcorn fun.

The Ash Lad: In the Hall of the Mountain King (2017)

Princess Kristin (Eili Harboe) was nearing her 18th birthday and her parents insisted that she get married lest the troll king carry her off.  As the saying went, a princess who did not marry by 18 would be abducted by a troll who would marry her.  Kristin thought that was nonsense.  Besides, she did not want to marry the odious Prins Fredrik (Allan Hyde).  Thus, she ran away.

Espen (Vebjorn Enger) was the youngest of three brothers who lived with their father.  He was not a practical young man, usually distracted by unimportant things.  In fact, given the task of getting food for the family, he lost most of it during a chance encounter with a strange girl (i.e., Princess Kristin) who ate much of the food as she was famished.  Left to guard the house while his father and brothers went hunting, he managed to burn the house down.

Meanwhile, Kristin discovered, to her great surprise, that the tale was true.  The mountain king awoke from his slumber, stomped through the forest, snatched her from the woods, and returned her to his mountain cave.

Determined to reclaim his bride, Prins Fredrik and his entourage happened upon the burned ruins and asked about Princess Kristin.  There was a reward.  The three brothers were soon trekking into the woods to find the princess.  Strangely enough, the sober and hard-working brothers were more often foiled in their efforts while Espen had a knack for solving each trouble they faced.  He would collect junk along the trail, junk that would later prove invaluable in overcoming the latest obstacle.

Can Espen and his brothers rescue Princess Kristin before the Mountain King marries her?  Can they get there before Prins Fredrik?  Can they get the reward that would allow for the rebuilding of the house?

Light and fun.  Recommended.

Red Sonja (2025)

In a quaint Hyrkanian town filled with peaceful, well-dressed and productive people, an ethnically diverse collection of children play.  One child, a red-headed girl, has a wooden horse.  Then, the barbarians arrived, bursting through the pathetic gate - entirely by surprise in the middle of the day - and slaughtering or enslaving the inhabitants.  The red-headed girl - let's call her Sonja - escaped into the woods.  Unspecified years later, Sonja (Matilda Lutz) traveled through the forest on her beloved horse, Veehud.  Her goal: to locate the survivors of her people.  On this particular day, she encountered a band of poachers, who killed some forest beasts for the horns on their heads.  This shall not stand.  Sonja hunted them to a burned and denuded section of the forest where a wooden fort now stood.

Draygan (Robert Sheehan) had been a slave, but has since risen to become a conquering emperor.  The secret of his success is a peculiar book, though he only possessed half of it.  Draygan has the standard army of black-clad knights, a baboon-looking General Karlak (Marty Ford), a former gladiator/mistress Annisia (Wallis Day), and scientist/alchemist Maester Crudelis (Trevor Eve).  Draygan has managed to conquer territory with his machines, one of which looks like a tank.  He also has mind-control disks and a power generator that reminds one of Ironman's arc reactor.  Yes, exactly what one expects in Robert E Howard's Hyborean Age.

Into this fortress Sonja ventured to kill the poachers and to free the forest animals that had been captured.  Though the poachers were killed, Annisia subdued her in battle.  Sonja was enslaved and sent to the arena, where she was sent to her first battle in a chainmail bikini and with a wooden sword; it was for humiliation, not protection.  Reduced to this sad state, can Sonja escape enslavement and rescue the forest from the depredations of Emperor Draygan?

The origin story of Red Sonja has been abandoned.  In the comic, Sonja's family is murdered, while she is raped and left for dead.  A war goddess bequeathed her unmatched fighting skills so that she could exact vengeance.  But there was a condition: she could never lie with a man who had not beaten her in a fair fight.  None of that appears here.  Instead, she has been a hermit in the forest for untold years where she just naturally picked up tremendous martial talents.  A goddess does eventually intervene to save her - or perhaps resurrect her - but the requirement was that she save the forest.  Yeah, it's some nature goddess who is concerned about how humans are mistreating the environment.  No message there.

The book proved to be a holy scripture of the nature goddess.  Really?  For some reason, the first half provided brilliant technical insights that allowed Draygan to rise from slavery.  Imagine what he could do with the whole book!  Well, the second half of the book was entirely about healing.  The whole point of preventing him from getting the book was nonsense.  What was that prophecy again?  Ugh.

Why is Sonja such a great fighter?  How does a 5 1/2 foot tall woman with no armor easily defeat four 6' tall soldiers in heavy armor.  That was her first fight in the arena.  Did she go to some warrior training school during her time in the forest?

Matilda Lutz is miscast.  The whole point of Sonja is the chainmail bikini.  The comic was about having a hot chick in martial combat while wearing almost nothing.  The character is meant to appeal to a male audience.  Lutz is an attractive woman but she does not fill out the bikini.  She is a slender woman where someone with more of an hourglass figure was needed.  Worse still, the script did her no favors with flat dialogue and no character arc.  Bland.

Rhona Mitra, who plays a fellow slave and arena fighter, had a small role.  She is most noted for serving as a model for Lara Croft in the 1990s and being the lead in Doomsday (2008).  It's an Obi-Won Kenobi like role, where she imparts some wisdom before being killed off.

The movie had been in developmental hell for 20 years and this was the script and cast that they decided to move forward?  Astonishing.  Skip.

Four Warriors (2015)

Three crusaders and their prisoner trek through Europe on the way home.  Richard (Christopher Dane) is the leader, William and Hamish his allies, and Khushtar the Saracen prisoner.  Why are they taking Khushtar to England?  He's used as a pack animal.  One day, they came upon a village populated only by women and a single child.  The women say that creatures have stolen the men and children.  Richard concluded it was likely slavers.  He deigns to remain a couple of days to scare off the slavers, but soon discovers that something dark is in the woods.  The old woman says only the Four Warriors can save them now.  She indicates Richard, William, Hamish, and Khushtar!

A low budget fantasy movie, it rises to the level of mediocre.  Of course, the hero is a man who has renounced God and views the crusades as wrong.  Yes, let's get that anti-Crusades propaganda in the film.  No need to talk about how Muslims conquered Christian lands from the Middle East, Northern Africa, the Iberian Peninsula, and still pressed against Byzantium.  Nope.  Crusaders were in the wrong.  Hey, they've even enslaved the unfortunate Khushtar and use him as a mule.  By contrast, Khushtar proves to be completely honorable and trustworthy.  Heck, he even heals the worst of the crusaders, William.

The choreography is poor.  Despite waves of black-clad villains with 'scary' masks, our heroes stand toe to toe against them, neither getting killed nor killing.  Yes, it is like the A-Team where the fights result in no injuries, but the villains eventually run away.

Adding another modern message, Richard gets together with Alina, the single mom.  Well, that was common in the era as mortality was high.  Not in her case.  She explained to Richard that she met a Crusader who was on his way to the Holy Land some years ago and that she had a son with him.  Oh, so a random guy was passing through.  How did Alina get to be the leader of this village with that in her background?  This is the Middle Ages.

Hard pass.

Warlord (2025)

The city of Lloris was built and ruled by elves for millennia.  Then the humans came to trade.  Then they settled.  Finally, they moved against the elves and forced them from their ancient city.  Today, the elves are viewed as legend, not seen in two centuries.

Elwynn Brokenleaf (Stuart Brennan) and Tyfell Fallenoak (Richard Goss) are wood elves out on a hunt.  While ranging near the ancient city, they spot a naked human flee through the woods.  The man, Cameron, is brought down by other humans.  The humans castrate him, apply hot tar, and then a basket of feathers.  They leave him to die.  Tyfell left an apple at the man's side though Elwynn thought it a waste.

Lloris is now ruled by the sheriff (Billy Boyd) and his yellow-clad goon squad.  Each day, taxes are raised, putting out business after business.  The castrated man had been a baker who could not pay the tax; the punishment was extreme.  Emily (Aliona Baranova) is something of a leader among the people, aiding other bakers in paying the taxes.  Cameron has slipped back into town and tells his tale of elves and apples.  Emily takes the apple and has a grand plan.

Emily's parents had ruled the city before the sheriff came.  She was too young to know how the sheriff replaced her parents.  However, her parents had a fondness for elf things - like goblets - and knew some elf lore.  One thing Emily remembered was how to summon elves:

As once we were lost, together we may be found, let us come to speak and find common ground

She spoke the words at the foot of a great tree in the woods with the elfin apple as a focus.  Sure enough, an elf appeared.  Llanofinn Brokenleaf (Jennifer English) was not happy to talk to a human and had little sympathy for her plight.  Nonetheless, she agreed to consult with the elves and give an answer about aiding against the tyrannical sheriff.

The characters are mostly bland.  Billy Boyd doesn't sell himself as a villain.  Sure, he delivers bad guy lines, but has the face of a friendly hobbit.  Stuart is flat as Elwynn, which kind of works but also makes him boring.  He offers all sorts of sage wisdom to the young Tyfell and takes everything at a slow walk.  Emily is explained backwards.  Her oddly high status among the bakers is not explained until we learn of her origins.  Her friend Sam likewise gets major character development in the climax.  These revelations should not be surprises, since all the citizens know them and only the viewer is left in the dark.

The story progresses at a snail's pace and there is very little action.  When there is action, it is typically a case where the elf fires the bow then we cut to see a man with an arrow in him.  Same goes for sword cuts.  Slash with sword, cut to man with bloody gash.  When the elvish sword dancer arrives, she spins in close up.  No choreography at all.  Despite being set in a fantasy setting, there was very little action.  It is very talky.  So much dialogue.

The movie ends with a massive plot twist, a flipping of the table and a backstab extraordinaire.  The twist does not end the story but demands more story that does not come.  Nope, movie over.  Was this made with a sequel in mind?

Slow and plodding.  Skip.

A Knight's War (2025)

Bhodie (Jeremy Ninaber) woke from a nightmare.  In it, he saw a woman and her red-haired daughter burned at the stake.  He himself arrived in the aftermath.  While the mother had been burned to death, the daughter was unharmed; she was fireproof.  When he reached out to the daughter, she attacked him, which was when he awoke.  Bhodie's brother, William (Matthew Ninaber), asked about the nightmare and was unsurprised when his brother lied.  The two men were knights on a quest.  They sought to fulfill the prophecy that foretold of a Chosen One, a red-headed woman, who would bring the light (in a divine sense) back to the realm.  They arrived at a dark tower where a dark ritual was being performed.  They sneaked into the fortress in exactly the way plate mail-clad paladins would not.  Soon, the battle raged as the brothers fought cultists and sought to save the red-haired woman about to be sacrificed to darkness.  And failed.  There was only one choice left.  William stabbed Bhodie with the sacrificial blade and dumped him into the pool of blood, same as the redhead.

Bhodie awoke in a dark realm where he met the Gatekeeper (Shane Nicely).  The Gatekeeper explained that there was only one way to escape: he must capture three stones from three guardians.  The keeper offered a deal: allow the keeper to accompany him out of this hell, in exchange for an amulet that would allow Bhodie to respawn.  Bhodie accepted and immediately encountered Avalon (Kristen Kaster), the redhead who had been sacrificed; Bhodie recognized her as the daughter from his nightmare.  She did not act nobly and denied the light.  How could she be the Chosen One?  Despite his growing doubts, Bhodie joined forces with Avalon to secure the three stones and thereby bring light back to the world.

The movie is dark and moody.  There is virtually no levity to break the oppressive doom.  The funniest bits are when Bhodie keeps dying when fighting the witches.  Not really funny, just mildly amusing as a gaming trope.  Kind of reminds you of Groundhog Day when Phil had the montage of deaths.  The fight choreography is generally good.  The costumes are quite good, though colorless.  Most of the characters are dressed in dark colors that add to the gloomy color palette of the cinematography.  As for the three guardians, the first proves to be the biggest challenge, which is weird.  Indeed, the next two were relatively easy.  Psychological battles rather than physical ones.  Meh.

Just okay.

Beowulf & Grendel (2005)

A troll and his son were enjoying the outdoors when suddenly a band of riders appeared.  The troll scooped up his son and raced toward the shore.  It was a cliff far above the sea; there was no escape.  He hid his son on a ledge and turned to face the Danes.  Spears, arrows, and fire forced him over the cliff to his death.  Hrothgar (Stellan Skarsgard) looked over the ledge to the dead troll but spotted the child.  What to do?  He left the child and rode away with the others.  Nearly 20 years later, the young troll, Grendel, attacked Hrothgar's newly built hall.  Though Hrothgar himself tried to fight the troll, it ignored him; it only killed his men, specifically Danes.

Over the sea in Geatland, Beowulf (Gerald Butler) and his friends discussed the good times in Geatland.  With all well in the lands, the king agreed that Beowulf and his men should aid Hrothgar in his time of need.  Though Beowulf repeatedly sought battle with the troll, it refused to fight him or his men.  He had given in no reason to kill him.  Hrothgar had not revealed his history with the troll's father.  Beowulf consulted a witch, Selma (Sarah Polley), to discover how to fight the troll.  Eventually, he and his men provide a reason for the troll to kill them.

The movie does a good job with the setting.  The gear, ships, armor, clothing, buildings, and such fit in the early 6th century.  However, the geography is wrong for Denmark.  It is far too rugged and craggy; it was filmed in Iceland.  Though Beowulf has plenty of ego, this version of him also has humility.  He's not nearly the boaster like Ray Winstone's Beowulf (2007).  However, his reputation precedes him wherever he goes.  Even when he is washed ashore near a humble fisherman's wharf, the fisherman knew the tales of Beowulf.

The story is faithful to the source material, but adds a lot too.  After Grendel has died, there follows a battled with Grendel's mother.  She had been shown as an eventual foe when they sailed; her pale white hand would grab men near the rail and try to drag them into the sea.  In the poem, the death of Grendel's mother concluded the troubles.  It does here too, but there are loose ends.  Grendel had a son himself and Beowulf - like Hrothgar before him - was unable to kill the child.  Will a new vengeance cycle start in another decade or so?

It is strange to embrace trolls and sea hags but then have no magic.  The witch says she can foretell death, which appears true.  Was the sword that Beowulf grabbed from her stash a magic one, thus being able to kill the sea hag?  Maybe.  That there was mention of Clovis (466-511) and the presence of Father Brendan (Eddie Marsan) put it firmly in the historical setting, rather than mythical.

Just okay.

Dungeon Soup

Here is a channel that any D&D gamer should bookmark.  The animated shorts are hilarious.  The central character is Chaotic Good Barbarian, a super-high-level block of muscle who defeats the current monster in a humiliating battle.  There are also shorts about Kevin the Paladin.  He is a wimpy and hapless fellow who frequently crosses over with CG Barbarian.  Gnome Quest follows a band of gnomes on a quest; it delivers what it promises.  Of note, the lead gnome is basically Nick Cage.  However, the greatest of all the shorts is Vampire's New Lair.

Highly recommended.

The King of Swords

After turning back the invasion of Lywm-an-Esh with the help of Vadhagh from another plane, Corum and Rhalina returned to Castle Erorn.  His family castle was rebuilt and the pair lived contentedly for a time.  Then, the madness came.  Everyone in the castle began to have short tempers which soon turned violent and then murderous.  This madness had infected the whole plane.  When a delegation of Vadhagh arrived at Erorn, it turned into a fight to the death.

Taking one of the flying ships of the Vadhagh, Corum, Rhalina, and Jhary-a-Conel set out for Lywm-an-Esh to consult with Lord Arkyn.  Finding no solutions there, they were instead pursued by the man who took Corum's hand and eye.  The only hope of escape was to leap to another plane, but the pursuit followed them!  When at last they lost the soldiers of chaos, their craft shattered and they were stranded on some plane beyond the 15 planes.  Only by finding Tanelorn, the eternal city, could they return to their home and hope to counter the madness.  During his plane-hopping adventure, Corum meets his alternate selves: Elric of Melnibone and Lord Erekose.  It will take all three to defeat the creature of the Black Tower and find their way to Tanelorn.

The story hops from setting to setting, using the near omniscient and immortal Jhary to explain the oddities of the current plane.  As with previous books in the series, there is a deus ex machina feel to the story.  That the Lost Gods, whose hand and eye had been grafted to Corum in the first book, appear as saviors in this book shows that it was all foreordained.  Corum and his friends are mere pawns with no ability to determine their fate.

Compared to Elric, Corum is a bland hero.  Of course, he is from a sedate race of people who gladly spend decades composing a melody.  Just okay.  This series is only for the diehard Moorcock fan.

The Queen of Swords

Corum and Rhalina are enjoying their lives together in the wake of his victory over Arioch, the Knight of Swords.  Lord Arkyn, a god of law, now holds sway though his power remains weak.  The arrival of Jhary-a-Conel reveals the precarious situation despite Arioch's defeat.  Though their god is banished, the forces of chaos still dominate the plane.  They have called upon the Queen of Swords, Xiombarg, to provide support for eradicating the only nation allied with the forces of law.  Corum, Jhary, Rhalina and her retinue sail to Lywm-an-Esh, an idyllic kingdom, that must hold against the forces of chaos.  Sadly, they are not prepared, having lived in peace for too long.  Lord Arkyn suggests that Corum and company travel to the planes ruled by Xiombarg and recruit aid from the City in the Pyramid.  Of course, if Xiombarg discovered that the being who banished her brother was traipsing through her realm, she would surely kill him.  But the risk must be taken or chaos would destroy Lywm-an-Esh.

Jhary-a-Conel introduces himself as the Companion of Champions.  He is entirely self-aware of his various existences in which he finds himself a sidekick to the likes of Corum, Elric, and others.  This doesn't sit well.  It gives a sense of inevitability to the story.  I've done this many, many times and I'm still in the game, always siding with the hero.  This story is just one big deus ex machina, foretold by the mysterious forces of balance.

Corum makes more extensive use of the Hand of Kwll and the Eye of Rhynn, but somehow fails to use them enough.  Whatever the currently summoned allies kill are doomed to be his next batch of undead allies.  If he just spent his time summoning more undead allies as his current ones killed his enemies, he should be able to overcome almost any odds.  One supposes that his reticence to even use these powers explains why he does adopt such a strategy.

The City in the Pyramid proves to be a Vadhagh enclave that had traveled the planes long ago and got stranded in a plane now ruled by Xiombarg.  Corum is understandably ecstatic to find he is not the last Vadhagh after all.  The city is a technical/magical marvel.  It has force fields and flying ships.  If only they had some specific materials, they would be able to bring the City in the Pyramid back to their home plane and aid the folk of Lywm-an-Esh.

Entertaining.

The Knight of Swords

Prince Corum of the Scarlet Robe lived in an isolated castle with his parents, siblings, and a handful of servants.  He was a Vadhagh, a race of people who predated the coming of man, here called Mabden.  The Vadhagh, who had lifespans of a thousand years, rarely ventured from their remote castles.  The doings of the barbarous Mabden were of little interest to them.  However, Corum's father was curious about his brother and asked that Corum visit him and get news.  What Corum discovered was ruins and corpses.  The Mabden had been slaughtering the Vadhagh, one remote castle at a time.  Racing back to his home, Corum arrived to find his family slaughtered and the castle in flames.  In a mad rage that he had never even conceived possible in his hundreds of years, he dared to attack the Mabden.  Though he killed many, they captured him and promised a long torturous death as he was the very last of his kind.

He was rescued by a mysterious being during a lull in his torture and taken to a castle of Mabden!  These Mabden proved to be civilized, having adopted much of Vadhagh culture.  Here, he was able to recover from his ordeal, but he was forever maimed.  He had lost an eye and a hand.  He had hardly recovered when the same barbarous Mabden arrived at this castle.  Though the castle held out against this first attack, they would return with greater numbers next year.  Something must be done!

So it was that Prince Corum sought a wizard on the Isle of the Gorged God.  The wizard, Shool, 'gifted' Corum with a six-fingered hand and a faceted gem-like eye that granted him powers.  So armed, he could face the Sword Rulers, the gods of chaos who brought the Mabden into this world and sought to purges the races that had been left by the gods of law, notably the Vadhagh.  Alone, Corum set out on his quest to somehow acquire the heart of Arioch - the Knight of Swords - and deliver it to Shool.

This is very different from Elric, the most famous of Moorcock's Eternal Champions.  Where Elric's folk were a cruel people with powers far beyond the regular folk that they terrorized and oppressed, Corum is a member of a vastly superior culture that has atrophied beyond violence and thus suffered when it arrived in the form of barbarian raiders.  The attack on the Vadhagh castles is similar to the Vikings sacking Christian churches along the English coast.

The story has some aspects that don't work well.  The Mabden ride chariots to battle, despite the existence of stirrups.  That is unusual.  The land is described as vast forests, which are not friendly to chariots.  The castle of the civilized Mabden, as described, should have easily resisted the assault, but instead was nearly overwhelmed.  There is much talk of the five planes and how the older races could shift among them, thus becoming effectively invisible.  Cool.  Beyond that, the other planes are a mystery.  Could some of his people long ago have migrated to one of these other planes and lived in peace?  Considering how often the five planes are mentioned - or the 15 planes, of which the 5 are Arioch's domain - there is precious little explanation of these alternate planes.  Maybe The Queen of Swords will explain.

Corum is not an engaging character.  He reminds me of Frodo.  He doesn't want to go on an adventure but duty calls.  His success comes often by dumb luck rather than his skill and ingenuity.  Often, his six-fingered hand makes decisions that he would not, but the hand is always right.  Yeah, he is too frequently the victim of fate, a pawn in a game he doesn't realize he is playing.  Is he a hero or just a random gear in the machinery?

Just okay.  Perhaps the rest of the trilogy will build on this foundation.

Tehanu

When last we saw Tenar, she had been spirited away from the Tombs of Atuan (1970) by Ged.  When Ged returned in The Furthest Shore (1972), Tenar did not.  It turns out that Tenar had gone to Ged's home island of Gont and lived with Ged's old mentor, Ogion.  However, the path of magic was not for her.  She married a farmer and raised two children.  She is a widow who lives alone on her farm, her children having grown up and moved away.  Into her life enters a girl, Therru, who has been horribly burned by vagrants.  She adopts the girl as her own and takes her along when she visits the ailing Ogion.  While at Ogion's house, Ged arrives.  He is no longer a wizard, his magic lost during The Furthest Shore.  Now just a man, he kindles feelings for Tenar, feelings which she long held toward him.

The story is slow-paced and often little more than Tenar's thoughts and doubts, fears and hopes.  The story is told almost entirely from her viewpoint.  There are frequent hints that Therru is more than she seems.  Ordinary folk fear her, Ogion insists that Tenar teach her everything, and witches are wary of her power.  What is the deal with this girl?

Considering that it took nearly 20 years for this follow up book, it is exceedingly boring.  I am baffled that it won awards.  There is Eastern philosophy in action, but mostly the characters are just a bunch of victims who survive their trials.  When there is action, it is mostly glossed over in an instant.

I enjoyed the original trilogy, but this was more like a Hallmark Special set in Earthsea.  Will Tenar find love as a widow?  Will Ged find meaning in his life without magic?  Can Therru find a place in society despite her horrible burns?

Disappointing.

LARPers at a Crime Scene

This has to be one of the best LARP routines ever.  Classic!

Love the use of glitter!

The Swords of Lankhmar

Fafhrd and the Gray Mouser are aboard a grain ship bound for the port city of Kleg Nar. Currently, the Mingols have besieged the eight cities of the north who need support from Lankhmar lest the Mingols turn their attention there. A previous grain shipment vanished and, as such, the Overlord of Lankhmar employed the daring pair to make sure this shipment arrived. Soon, the pair discovered that rats had destroyed the last shipment and were set to pluck off each of the grain ships in this convoy but for the intervention of a strange German zoologist from a future earth who rode a two-headed rat-eating sea serpent. How predictable. While Fafhrd opted to remain in Kleg Nar, Mouser returned with the convoy to Lankhmar where he expected accolades. Instead, he found the primary plotters of rat attack had spun the story in their favor and now worked against Mouser. The grain convoy had been but a small part of a larger plan to usurp the Overlord and take control of Lankhmar!

Sadly, the Overlord is a dullard, a cowardly twit who is easily manipulated. After such brilliant and cunning villains seen in The Lord of Quarmall, this oafish buffoon is a real disappointment. Mouser’s infatuation with a girl who clearly has no interest in him and repeatedly plots his death is also silly. Fafhrd is sidelined for most of the novel, having to travel through a warzone on his way back to Lankhmar and only arriving at the climax of the plot. On the way, he fights a band of Mingols, falls for a woman who is invisible except for her bones, battles Ilthmart land pirates, consults with Ningauble the Wizard, rides through the sinking land, and catches a ride on Sheelba’s walking hut in the Great Salt Marsh to the gates of Lankhmar. It is all very exciting but has little to nothing to do with the main plot.

Whereas all previous adventures have been short stories, this is a novel with some well-developed support characters, a deep dive into the setting, and more detail of some of the beliefs of Nehwon. Most entertaining. Recommended.

One Hit Die - The Devouring Dungeon

Our heroes are once again questing, this time into the Devouring Dungeon in search of the Fountain of Experience.  Yes, when they find it, they will level up.  Typical player motivation.  One-eyed Cassandra (Mikaela Cochrane) the Paladin has brought a bard along to raise morale.  Torvold (Andrew David Long) finds this mostly distracting, especially since he is trying to disable a trap.  Sasha (Julie Orton) finds Cassandra to be exasperating.  Azurus (Phil Burke) needs to pee.  To make matters worse, rooms shift at regular intervals, thus changing the dungeon layout.

Though the party has been in a dungeon in a previous adventure, this one constitutes the whole of the adventure.  Each room has some sort of trap, puzzle, or monster to overcome.  Oddly, one room only has a mirror.  Odder still, their reflections are not reversed.  With a shrug, the party moves on to the next room.  Then their reflected selves emerge from the mirror!  A mirror of opposition!  Very cool and well done.  As is inevitable when there are dopplegangers of everyone, the party must split up and then reconnect with the wrong people.  Good fun.  Once again, Azurus finds himself in an animation storyline, thanks to eating mushrooms while drunk.

Sadly, it would appear that this concludes the adventures of the party.  It has been 6 years since this final adventure.  Fun while it lasted.  The whole series is recommended.