The Malaysian-made
Vikingdom is mostly a travesty. The
story opens with the death of our hero, Eirik Bloodletter (Dominic Purcell), King of
Jomsberg. Ten years later, Thor the
Thunder God assembles an army to destroy Midgard (that would be the world of
men). Why does he want to do this? Mostly, he seems pissed about the rise of the
one God who is replacing the Norse Gods.
So as not to leave out some historical revisionism, Thor leads a fleet
to attack Lindesfarne in 793 – this is the traditional start date and location
for the Viking Age. There he captures a
necklace that belonged to the Virgin Mary, an artifact vital in his plans to
unravel the world.
Meanwhile, in a Scandinavian
forest, Eirik Bloodletter is living the life of a hermit. It turns out that he had been having an
affair with Freya – fertility/love goddess – and she was unwilling to let him
stay dead. However, she could never see
him again after his resurrection and he abdicated his throne in favor of his
brother. Thor’s gambit has convinced
Eirik to end his hermitage and seek to defeat the Thunder God. The only thing that can stop Thor is a magic horn
that is hidden in Helheim (the Norse land of the dead). Because he has been resurrected, he is
considered ‘undead,’ and can travel to and from Helheim. He is uniquely suited to the task.
Eirik collects a
crew in Osberg and hires a boat captained by a woman! Most of his crew are ordinary Vikings but a
couple are bizarre. There is Brynna (Natassia Malthe), the
owner of the ship who wears a leather halter top though they are often trudging
through snow. Of course, she falls in
love with Eirik. Then there is Yang the
martial artist. We first meet him as the
slave of a bumpkin. How did that come to
pass? Yang often speaks Chinese but when
it is important, he speaks perfectly understandable Norse. Why is this character here? Along the way, they recruit Alcuin the Druid
who bears some uncanny similarities to Gandalf.
Though Brynna and Yang were irritating, I liked Alcuin. He was the wisest of the characters and acted
to save the world, sometimes without informing his allies.
Dominic Purcell is wooden,
delivering most of his lines with a dull monotone. Sven, his right-hand man, has a working-class
British accent. Conan Stevens in a
ridiculous red wig and beard stars as an often bare-chested, skirt-wearing Thor
with a ludicrous plastic hammer standing in for Mjolnir. OMG! How can you cast Thor as the villain? Frey, the male fertility god, looks like a medieval
drag queen.
At one point, when
trying to recruit a crew in a shield hall, Eirik gives a monotone speech about
how he’s likely to die and so is everyone who comes along, so, you know, maybe
you could join me. No St. Crispin’s Day
speech there!
