Krull

This 1983 Sci-Fi/Fantasy Epic has become a cult favorite.  The Beast and his band of slayers travel the galaxy in a Black Fortress that looks like a mountain.  They land on the planet Krull and commence to conquer.  The war is going so badly for the locals that two rival factions agree to join forces.  The alliance will be sealed with the marriage of Prince Colwyn to Princess Lyssa.  Just as the wedding ceremony is completed, slayers come bursting into the palace.  Princess Lyssa is kidnapped and Prince Colwyn is left for dead.

 

Colwyn proves to be the sole survivor and, since his father is among the dead, now king.  He awakens to find an old man patching his wound.  It is Ynyr the Old One.  Though it is not explained, Ynyr seems to be a legendary figure who has lived on a mountain for a very long time.  He proves to be very knowledgeable of exactly what Colwyn must do in order to defeat the Beast.  Along the way, they recover the glaive – a weapon Colwyn thought was a myth, recruit Ergo the Magnificent (a wizard who is mostly comic relief), enlist a band of escaped criminals (Liam Neeson and Robbie Coltrane among them), adopt a young boy who wants a dog, and encounter a cyclops who knows the day of his death.  It is ever so epic!  Our small band overcomes various obstacles and finally assaults the Black Fortress.  It is a fun action-adventure film and great popcorn fun.  However, when one ponders the setting afterwards, some issues arise.

 

One: Ergo is an obviously incompetent wizard but does demonstrate the power of magic on Krull.  He arrives on the scene as a fireball, clearly a form of magical transportation that he has not mastered but would be really useful.  Transformation into an animal seems to be relatively easy as he does it several times.  Where are all the competent wizards?  Why did we get stuck with Ergo the Bumbler?

 

Two: Fire mares can travel a thousand leagues in a day and race through the air.  Why isn’t this the standard cavalry horse?  I can’t imagine heroic knights who wouldn’t immediately track down some fire mares to allow them to crisscross the world almost as quickly as a wizard can teleport.

 

Three: Colwyn takes fire from Lyssa’s hand and then has an apparently endless supply of flame throwing.  If the standard wedding ceremony on Krull involves the groom dousing fire in a pool of water and the bride snatching it back from the water, shouldn’t there be a huge number of married couples who could hurl walls of flame?

 

Four: When Colwyn finally uses the glaive, it sweeps away several slayers at a time with no trouble whatsoever.  Why did he have to wait to use it?  A lot of his men would have survived if he had been using it all along.

 

The movie ends with a restatement of a prophecy that claims a King and a Queen would defeat the Beast and their son would rule the galaxy.  Really?  This world is medieval.  There are no cars, planes, trains, industry, or any inkling that this is a planet on the brink of space travel.  But the son of Colwyn and Lyssa is going to rule the galaxy?  I would have liked to see how that part of the prophecy came to pass.

Wrath of the Titans

This sequel of Clash of the Titans takes place 10 years after Perseus (Sam Worthington)  slew the Kraken and saved Andromeda. His wife, Io, died in the interim and his son, Helios, knows nothing of his father's demigod history. Perseus is living in a fishing village as just another fisherman when Zeus  (Liam Neeson) comes asking for his help, warning that doom is upon the world. Perseus brushes him off and can't be too surprised when Chimera attacks the village soon afterwards. He goes to an abandoned temple of the gods and prays to his father but Poseidon (Danny Huston) arrives instead with a tale of woe. Then Poseidon dies! Yikes, we're killing off the gods? Not some minor demigod but one of the big three? This must be serious.

Per Poseidon's instructions, Perseus goes in search of Andromeda (Rosamund Pike). She is now queen of Greece, apparently having unified all the city-states. Whereas last we saw her, she was a victim about to be fed to the kraken, now she is a warrior queen who accompanies Perseus on his quest to save Zeus.

The movie is mostly an excuse for one action scene after another. As he did the mythical deeds of Perseus in the last film, this time he takes deeds from others. He fights the Cyclops that belongs to Odysseus's tale, he slays the Chimera and rides Pegasus which belongs to Bellerophon's story, he defeats the Minotaur and overcomes a labyrinth, both part of Theseus's adventure, and he beats the crap out of Ares, which is from Xena: Warrior Princess. Furthermore, he travels to the underworld which many Greek heroes did, but not Perseus. Agenor, who plays the roguish sidekick and son of Poseidon, was actually several generations before Perseus. Moreover, he wasn't some glib thief but rather a king of Egypt whose daughter, Europa, was carried off by a lustful Zeus. On the positive, this movie did correct an error from the last film; Perseus goes after Andromeda, which is how it happened in the myth. All in all, Greek mythology has been sliced and diced and pasted onto Perseus.

When Zeus comes to Perseus at the beginning of the movie, he tells him that "being half human makes you stronger than a god." Really? What about 75% human? He doesn't address that. There is an underlying philosophy here that cannot be accidental. The screenwriter has chosen to place man above the gods. Then, tossing in Nietzsche, the Gods are dead, or at least dying as the movie progresses. The last movie had a war against the gods where the gods sought to punish mankind. This time the gods are killed off, largely through their folly, and man becomes god. Throughout the movie, our heroes warn the soldiers not to pray to the gods. As we saw in the last movie, gods derive their power from prayer. Just to hammer home the point that prayer is bad, one character foolishly prays to Ares and the God of War arrives to slay almost everyone, including the supplicant. Speaking of the supplicant, it was an archer woman. Why would she pray to Ares? More likely, I would expect her to appeal to Athena or Artemis. One does not cower behind a rock and pray to the God of War. So, in a complete departure from anything in Greek Myth, the majority of the gods are wiped out and the remaining ones are powerless. Let the Age of Atheism commence.

Hephaestus (Bill Nighy), God of Blacksmiths, makes an appearance. He is surprisingly spindly for a blacksmith and his only lameness appears to be a limp and a pronounced British accent. In this movie, he is a bit insane and has conversations with the mechanical owl that is completely inert. In this telling, it is Hephaestus, not Daedalus, who made a vast labyrinth inhabited by a Minotaur. During his ravings, he mentions that he was married to Aphrodite but it is never explained what happened to her.

Just like the last film, Hades (Ralph Fiennes) makes no sense. Last time, his kraken was said to be so powerful as to be able to overwhelm the rest of the gods and yet he had been banished to the underworld. Still angry over that banishment, he decides to free the Titans. But he soon regrets that decision and joins Perseus and Zeus in a fight against the Titans. At least the two films are consistent in making Hades an idiot.

In a change from the last movie, the super-shiny armor of the gods has been retired and they all wear something a common soldier might wear. Perhaps the gleaming armor required lots of people to pray and signified the piousness of the people. If so, it is not explained. Still, I was glad to see it go.

In the climactic battle, Andromeda has martialed her army to fight the minions of Kronos. She is supposed to `slow' Kronos down. As Kronos is literally the size of a mountain and apparently composed of lava, one wonders how the army can do anything other than die. Tactically and strategically, it was utterly pointless but it made for some really awesome special effects.

Despite all its failings, it was fun to watch. It even gets a better score on IMDb than Clash of the Titans though I rate the first one the better of the two.

Clash of the Titans

The remake of the campy sword and sandals epic of 30 years ago is grimmer and grittier but not really better. Men have declared war on the gods (they discover the foolishness of such when one god makes a brief visit and lays waste) and Perseus, son of Zeus, is thrust to the forefront. He is a reluctant hero who despises the gods and, though gifts come to him from the gods, he refuses to use them. Where Harry Hamlin eagerly collected a magic sword, shield, helmet, and owl, Sam Worthington refuses to use such items on principle. Certainly makes for a very different Perseus. As in the original, Perseus must find a way to slay the kraken to save Andromeda. He is accompanied by soldiers of Argos, led by Draco (Mads Mikkelsen). In the original, the soldiers are just fodder to die along the way. This is largely true here too but these characters are developed so as to be more than the random red shirt.

The gods are generally reduced to Zeus and Hades. Sure, others make cameos but are mostly irrelevant. Liam Neeson, surely getting used to playing god (he's Aslan in Narnia), is Zeus. Likewise, Ralph Fiennes must be getting used to villainy (he is also Lord Voldimort), as he is Hades. Whereas Lawrence Oliver played Zeus as cranky and domineering, wearing a white himation (Greek Toga), Neeson is Good Cop to Fiennes Bad Cop and wears shining armor that puts Excalibur (1981) to shame.

Again, in keeping with the original, mythology is modified to better the story. Io (Gemma Arterton), a noted liaison of Zeus, has watched over Perseus from afar. She is cursed to not age because she refused a god's advances. I found myself thinking she was just a goddess in disguise since her wardrobe changed without apparent cause and she gave Perseus a good fight when she chose, appeared out of nowhere when needed, and also somehow 'guided' him as a baby to his rescue though I didn't see her swimming alongside. But no, she was just Io. Nix all that stuff about being turned into a cow and bearing a son to Zeus.

In order for the movie to have some multiculturalism, the Jinn are introduced. Most would think of the jinn as a Genie, though this jinn looks more like an evil wood-carving. As the Jinn didn't speak Greek (English), it couldn't really develop as a character. The inclusion is mostly annoying and its ability to self-destruct was plain bizarre. However, I did like that jinn rode giant scorpions, complete with pavilions.

If you thought the Kraken was big in the last movie, you haven't seen anything. This thing is immense. In fact, its approach should have flooded the city of Argos. When its stony corpse toppled into the sea, a tidal wave should have swept over the city. Devouring Andromeda would have been about as filling as eating one kernel of corn. Of note, the Kraken has gone from being a creature of Poseidon to being a child of Hades. In fact, the story states that the Kraken is so powerful that it overthrew the Titans who ruled before the current gods. Hmm. But Hades got the short straw and was banished to the underworld? Something doesn't add up.

Calibos (Jason Flemyng), the villain of the 1981 version, is here a pawn of Hades. It was he who tossed Perseus and his mother into the sea to kill them and learns he was only half-successful. Hades imbues Calibos with some divine breath (black, smoky, evil breath) to make him a challenge for the demigod Perseus. He's okay but he lacks the tragic love for Andromeda that gave the original some character.

All in all, it is an entertaining film with flashy action and epic battles but it rates no more than mindless popcorn fun.

Chronicles of Narnia: Prince Caspian

Prince Caspian arrived in theaters in May 2008; I saw the movie on June 8.

The latest installment of the Chronicles of Narnia is not nearly as good as the last. As with the Lion, the Witch, and the Wardrobe, there is more to this movie than there was in the book but, whereas that was to the good then, it isn't so this time.

Peter, who was the most mature of the children in the last movie, has become a rash, belligerent, petulant teen. I recall that there was some tension between Caspian and Peter in the book, but here they come to blows. Edmund, who was traitorous in the last film, is now the sensible one. Susan has a subplot involving her interest in boys, lying about her name to a geeky boy in England but then showing a crush on Prince Caspian in Narnia. This proves mostly distracting and pointless. Lucy (Georgie Henley) once again steals the show among the children, being the most attuned to Aslan (Liam Neeson) and the most steadfast.

Miraz, brother to the deceased King Caspian IX, is the regent. So, one expects Prince Caspian (the 26 year-old Ben Barnes) to be a minor, which he clearly isn't. When exactly is he expected to take the throne? In the novel, Caspian was probably 12 or so. I don't recall the Telmarines being Spanish but the influence of Spain on the movie's version of Telmarine culture cannot be overstated. After defeating the Spanish Armada last year in Elizabeth: The Golden Age, filmmakers wanted a repeat performance here.

The effects are so-so and oddly repetitious of Lord of the Rings. We have trees marching to battle, a river coming to life to sweep away the enemy, the ground collapsing to swallow the enemy, huge rocks pummeling our heroes' stronghold, and so on.

I was surprised to see the return, however brief, of the White Witch (Tilda Swinton). Reepicheep the Mouse (Eddie Izzard) makes his first appearance and provides for some comic relief. His combat prowess was probably easier to accept in the book than on screen. It is hard to accept even an oversized mouse (think a big rat) could dispatch so many humans with his tiny sword.

All in all, this read better as a children's story than it translates to the screen. It is one thing to be killing monsters (as happened in the last book) and another to be killing people in a movie largely targeted at kids. I suppose the metal faceplates were to dehumanize the Telmarine enemy. The pacing is inconsistent, leading to many lulls where we are again reminded how unappealing most of the characters are.