Saturday, October 22, 2016

Iron Warrior

Ator is back. Or is he? Our story opens with twin boys - aged 9 or 10 - playing in some ruins. While they run around tossing a fuzzy ball to one another, a dark figure prowls about the ruins, shadowing them. The figure grabs one of the boys then dashes away with him, a wicked laugh echoing.

The figure turns out to be Phoedra the Witch, a wicked old woman with wild red hair. She has been brought before the council of witches, headed by Deeva. The other witches are all young nubile beauties. Subtext: Evil is ugly, good is beautiful. Deeva demands the return of the boy but Phoedra refuses. It is revealed the Phoedra once ruled Dragor but was deposed by the other witches and a king was installed. Phoedra will reclaim her realm and the boy is key to her plan. The witches sentence her to 18 years in the underworld; Phoedra scoffs.

18 years later, Ator (Miles O'Keeffe) stands upon a cliff and in front of a full length mirror. Really? Yes. His mane of curly blond hair from his previous movies is gone; now he has it slicked-back and sports a braided ponytail. He also has an earring. Ator could be an extra in the Duran Duran video.

Meanwhile in Dragor, Princess Janna is dancing about with her hand maids. She has a ludicrous topknot that is shaped like a fan. Who knew they had hair gel in the Dark Ages? Moreover, she has one pink eyebrow. Is it any surprise the movie was made in 1987.

Phoedra has returned and makes an appearance at the castle where she then unleashes Trogar. Trogar, Ator's missing twin brother, wears a silver skull and a red scarf so his face is never seen. He has magical powers that are not explained and that don't always work. He kills the king by telekinetically flinging half a dozen spears through him. He then captures the princess.

From there, the movie becomes an incomprehensible mess. There is no plot and the characters don't develop. Janna runs around in a sheer dress without a bra which is certainly entertaining. Phoedra shape changes into a young woman and gets naked. Ator repeatedly fights his brother, once running him through but he vanishes only to return later.

The climactic finish has Janna dangling from a cliff while Phoedra cackles that she can't hold on forever. Ator shows up and, after trial and error, slays Phoedra. He goes to the cliff and Janna is gone, presumably to a watery grave far below. Then he hears her voice. There she is, tied up on an altar. When he releases her, she looks at the camera with a blank expression. Is this Phoedra again or is it Janna? The witches say that Janna has ensorcelled Ator and laugh as the credits roll.

By far, this is the worst of the Ator movies. First off, though it is still Miles O'Keeffe as Ator, the life story of the character has no similarity to the previous two movies. He's gone from the orphan of Torran destined for greatness to a twin with the sole purpose of protecting the Princess of Dragor. It would have been better if he were called Joe, Tom, or Pete rather than Ator. The storyline is impossible to follow since there are unexplained gaps. Ator and Janna are fleeing through a cave when she is cut off from him. Then, suddenly, they are together on the beach and she is now in a blue dress. Huh? They are fleeing from Trogar and come to a cliff. Ator says `trust me' and they jump. They wake up in a cave. Huh? Deeva dispatches Ator and Janna to recover a box of witch power from an island. After a lot of delving into the ruins there, fleeing as the place collapses, and dodging Trogar's horsemen, it turns out that Phoedra had the real one all along and our heroes just have a phony. What? There is a dream-like quality to the movie so perhaps it's all in Ator's head.

This one does not get to the so bad it's good. It is worse than that. However, Princess Janna bounces nicely and the young version of Phoedra is easy on the eyes.

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