The 10th Kingdom

Having missed this massive miniseries when it aired, I bought the DVDs and started watching.  By February 13, 2007, I was done.

I recently saw the 10th Kingdom, an epic made-for-TV miniseries that spanned 7 hours. Here is a tale about Virginia Lewis and her father who, though living in New York, suddenly find themselves in the 9 Kingdoms. The 9 Kingdoms are the home of all the classic fairy tales, though it has been centuries since the days of Cinderella, Snow White, Little Red Riding Hood, et al. but their kingdoms remain. The father-daughter duo find themselves stranded in the 9 Kingdoms thanks to a magic mirror (of which there are many) and aligned with a prince who has been turned into a dog. His coronation as king is imminent and an impostor will take the throne if he cannot be restored. The nine kingdoms are filled with a wide assortment of creatures and magic. The footwear-obsessed trolls get the most attention but there are dwarves, goblins, fairies, and elves. Magic is truly magical and mostly inexplicable to any but a D&D enthusiast. There were slippers of invisibility (which were oddly addictive and reminded me of the One Ring), a magic hair-cutting axe, many mirrors with various
purposes (travel, spying, communication, etc.), a fish that grants the Midas Touch (which predictably goes wrong), a Bean of Many Wishes (it nourishes as it grants your desires), and a Crossbow of Ultimate Accuracy.

On their epic quest, our heroes visit many strange lands. There is the Beanstalk Forest of the trolls, a sad result of Jack's magic beans that ruined the land so that it was left to the trolls. There is an impassible swamp (except for our heroes) that has singing mushrooms. The mountains where the dwarves live make for quite the vista. There is the town of love, which looks like a city where every day is Valentine's Day.

Lastly and most importantly, the world has all the fairy tale characters you would expect. There is the wicked witch who is generally dead but sometime counsels the evil queen behind the plot to put another on the prince's throne. There is a wolf (always in human form though sometimes sporting a tail) who seems torn whether he is with the evil queen or the father-daughter duo. There is a troll king allied with the evil queen but never really obeying her commands. The queen does have one committed servant, the huntsman who gladly kills. Both Snow White and Cinderella make cameo appearances. The blind axeman who demanded that the heroes guess his name was humorous when his name wasn't Rumplestiltskin. There are a variety of courtiers who flit about in a panic about the prince's absence.

The story is entertaining in its parts but unsatisfactory as a whole. There is an underlying story about Virginia that is telegraphed almost from the start but not confirmed until the very end. The story careens from goofy comedy to wanton slaughter, which doesn't work well. It was really annoying that Wolf (clever name that) never turned into a wolf (I suppose they didn't have the money for the effect, which is surprising) but only had a tail from time to time. This is all the worse since Wolf was a central character who was afflicted A.D.D. He talked at a run and was often breathless even when sitting. Despite this being a 7 hour epic, Tony, Virginia's father, – who was also a central figure, never developed much beyond his endless quest for money.

The story ends with Virginia declaring this to be the end of the first book of the 10 Kingdoms, clearly trying to setup a sequel. This doesn't deserve a sequel and since it has been 7 years, I doubt it will get one.
 

The titular 10th Kingdom was New York City, named such by the trolls who came there via a magic mirror. They claimed it for themselves though they didn't stay very long.

 

Checking on IMDb, I don't know if this was a ridiculously long pilot to launch a series or an effort to have multiple giant miniseries in the setting.  It was funny to see Ed O'Neill (aka Al Bundy) as the Troll King.  John Larroquette played John Larroquette but with the alias of Tony Lewis, Virgina's dad.  Really, if you have seen him in Night Court or The John Larroquette Show, you will be familiar with the character.  Lucy Punch plays Sally Peep, a relative of Little Bo Peep.  Kimberly Williams-Paisley, best known for her stint as Steve Martin's daughter in the Father of the Bride movies, is the psychologically damaged Virginia.  Dianne Wiest has a rare opportunity to play a villain.