Here is my take on BloodRayne, posted January 6, 2006:
Yeah, I admit it, I went to see this movie because the latest terminator was going to run around in hardly anything and swing a
sword. Hey, where could that go wrong? Well, go wrong it did. I
have never played the video game on which it is based so have no
background as to whether the movie does a good job of portraying
it. However, the acting is terrible, the fight scenes are
laughable, the fake blood looks like something from a low budget
SciFi Channel movie, and the storyline is mostly incomprehensible.
It was amazing how many ariel views of people riding horses across
the countryside this movie had, always with one character or another
speaking to set up the next piss poor fight.
I thought Kristanna Loken made a fine terminator. She looked good in nothing, she had that blank look on her face that gave her the impression of being a robot, and she didn't speak much. Little did I know that was her acting style. There was one point where she is killing a bunch of guys and the villian gives her a punch to the jaw. Oh, she's out.
I must not understand the vampires of the Blood Rayne game. It seems they die just fine if you stab them with a sword. The vampire killers of the Brimstone Society seem to use ordinary weapons though the big villain required a crossbow bolt to the heart.
The time period of the movie was unclear. I checked on the BloodRayne official movie site and it is supposed to be 1723 in some unstated Eastern European country. Okay, with names like Gregor, Kagan, Katarin, and Vladimir that makes sense. But why are the women using English accents? And gunpowder only comes from China and no one actually uses muskets or cannon. And all the female characters run around in tight leather pants (I appreciate that but it sort of detracts from the setting).
The production was really bad. As I said earlier, this was like some TV movie. As it was done so cheaply, I was really surprised to see the stars who were in it. There was Ben Kingsley as the villain, Michael Madsen (Mr. Blonde) as Vladimir, Billy Zane (Titanic), and Meat Loaf (okay, I wasn't surprised to see him in a cheap movie).
To top it off, it wasn't even of the so bad it's funny. It dragged on and on, leaving me bored for much of the movie. Do not throw your money away on this movie. Wait until next week when it comes out on the SciFi Channel.
It turns out this was the first Uwe Boll movie that I saw. Boll has since been described as a modern Ed Wood; he makes bad movies. What impresses me is that he managed to get big names to star in his bad movies.
I thought Kristanna Loken made a fine terminator. She looked good in nothing, she had that blank look on her face that gave her the impression of being a robot, and she didn't speak much. Little did I know that was her acting style. There was one point where she is killing a bunch of guys and the villian gives her a punch to the jaw. Oh, she's out.
I must not understand the vampires of the Blood Rayne game. It seems they die just fine if you stab them with a sword. The vampire killers of the Brimstone Society seem to use ordinary weapons though the big villain required a crossbow bolt to the heart.
The time period of the movie was unclear. I checked on the BloodRayne official movie site and it is supposed to be 1723 in some unstated Eastern European country. Okay, with names like Gregor, Kagan, Katarin, and Vladimir that makes sense. But why are the women using English accents? And gunpowder only comes from China and no one actually uses muskets or cannon. And all the female characters run around in tight leather pants (I appreciate that but it sort of detracts from the setting).
The production was really bad. As I said earlier, this was like some TV movie. As it was done so cheaply, I was really surprised to see the stars who were in it. There was Ben Kingsley as the villain, Michael Madsen (Mr. Blonde) as Vladimir, Billy Zane (Titanic), and Meat Loaf (okay, I wasn't surprised to see him in a cheap movie).
To top it off, it wasn't even of the so bad it's funny. It dragged on and on, leaving me bored for much of the movie. Do not throw your money away on this movie. Wait until next week when it comes out on the SciFi Channel.
It turns out this was the first Uwe Boll movie that I saw. Boll has since been described as a modern Ed Wood; he makes bad movies. What impresses me is that he managed to get big names to star in his bad movies.
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